by T.J. Burdick | Dec 14, 2020 | Efficiency, Life Updates, Marriage and Family, Technology
On Dec. 4th, I took my own advice and started a 21-day social media fast. I know the title of this post seems quite lacking, so much so you are probably thinking “What could you possibly have learned in only 10 days of fasting from something so trivial as social media?”
Actually, a lot.
1. So. Much. Free. Time.
I haven’t completed a social media fast since 2018 when my book Detached came out. In the past two years, but especially during quarantine (and those baby nap 1up moments), I’ve been glued to my phone in a way that led to absolute zero in work/home/creative efficiency. I put out a LOT of content, but man did it suck. Why? Because I sacrificed my contemplation time for what I like to call death scrolling, which is defined as “the mindless act of viewing and/or creating content that has little (if any) positive effect on the soul.”
In 10 days, I’ve eliminated that deluge of spiritual digress and rediscovered pockets of silent, uninterrupted moments of deep connection with myself, creation, and God Himself. As a result, I’ve learned to appreciate this newfound free time that I was so quick to sacrifice to my screens.
2. A Return to Blogging
It’s been a LONG time since I have been mentally able to blog. I found the practice to be a waste of time because, as I thought, “Why write blog posts when I could be spending that time writing something lasting, like a book?”
To a certain degree, I still believe this to be true; books are more important to me than blog posts because they will continue on after I die. This blog will last until my annual payment to my server host runs dry, and then it will disappear.
During this time, however, I realized that a blog does, indeed, have value, a value I hope to discover more perfectly as I become more proficient and writing them.
3. First Movie in Months
I love movies almost as much as my wife does. Here’s the rub, our youngest was born in August and since then, my wife and I haven’t had a lot of time to sit down and watch them. We’d start one, but inevitably either the newborn or one of her four siblings would need us. Or, if we managed to get the kiddos to bed early, we’d find ourselves asleep 20 minutes into whatever we were trying to watch.
What does that have to do with social media? Everything.
If every free moment of your day is filled with social media, you forget to do the little things that can give you bigger time gaps later in the day. For example, instead of picking up the living room or doing a load of laundry, you find yourself on Twitter ignoring those responsibilities until the final moments of your day, moments in which you should be relaxing. So, you stay up later than you wanted to and you no longer have that hour-long block you thought you were going to have because you now have to do the thing you couldn’t while you were death scrolling earlier.
4. Schedule Redesign
After our first child was born a decade ago, I quickly discovered that any projects I had on the docket after returning from the hospital with the new edition would have to be left on said docket. I would give myself an ample 18 months before I started anything new.
Usually, I’d find a way to work anyway. I’d find time in the peripheries of life: during my lunch break, waking up an hour earlier, staying up an extra hour before going to bed, etc.
Now, with even less free time, the social media fast has taught me that even my periphery time is disappearing. Sleep has become more important now than it was 10 years ago and consequently, so has physical health. That meant that I needed to prioritize my time into a new schedule to ensure that I can still do my creative work while doing *motions with arms* everything else.
5. 1K a Day
One of the priorities that surged above everything that wasn’t my family or my job was the need to write one thousand words every day. Writing is my means of making sense of the world. The more creative the writing session, the more clarity I derive from the act.
Social media created an outlet for me to write creatively across several different platforms, but each required that I sacrifice something to appease their algorithms. The restrictions of character count totals, pictures, videos, etc. made 1k/day solely on their timelines unattainable.
Now that it’s just me, my story, and the word document, 1k is easily attained during my 30 minute lunch break.
And that’s all I need to feel satisfied.
6. Became a Plotter
As a writer of fiction, you’re either a pantster (no planning, just writing the story points as they come- by the seat of your pants) or a plotter (so much planning). I wrote my first novel as a pantser and loved every minute of it (yes, even the edits!) One of the primary reasons I pantsed that novel was because I wanted to have enough mental freedom to build social media content as I wrote it. I succeeded, but the duality of thought that I had to accomplish likely made my novel slightly worse than it could have been (but don’t worry, I caught the pitfalls in the edits and rose them up like Christ on Easter Sunday).
Without social media, I began the process of planning my second novel it act by act. I’m finding that plotting has made me an even more efficient and lucid writer, but alas, it does require more time at the forefront, time I would typically be using to build social media content.
Will I last as a plotter once this 21 day social media is finished? I sure hope so. Will my novels be better for it? Ditto.
7. Hugs
Now that my hands aren’t connected in a closed circle with my phone as the lynchpin, I can open my arms wide to the physical affection of my wife and children. Not that I denied them cuddles while I was on social media, there’s just more opportunities to do so without an otherwise occupied mind.
8. Less Stress
I’m going to be perfectly transparent here: I work a full-time job as a public school teacher and a part-time job as a graphic designer/web developer. Look, I get it, given the requirements of the first job alone I should be questioning my sanity for having taken the other one. The thing is I could use the money and I have a soft spot in my heart for my boss of job #2.
That being said, there’s a need for all of us (whether we’re working or not) to fill our free time with something that will revive us, something that gives us energy. Too many people fill that time with social media and they find that it has the opposite effect that they intended. They set out to “relax” or to be “entertained,” by their screens, but in reality, their minds are working in the same capacity as it would when trying to solve an advanced math problem. The result: higher stress levels.
Now that I’m off social media (and gaming), my mind has the freedom to get lost in thought or, if it wants, to shut down completely for a moment. This makes life less stressful and more enjoyable.
9. Spiritual Insights
When I was a kid, I had a poster of a baby deer hanging in my room. Beside the resting fawn, the following words were written: “God speaks to us in the silence of our hearts.” In 1995, I actually had the ability to lay on my bed and stare at the peaceful scene and contemplate the essence of the words in the actual silence of my heart.
In 2020, I can barely remain strewn across my bed for 30 seconds before I feel the need to check my email and notifications.
For ten days, however, I’ve recalled that poster in more than a few of my quiet moments with God. Sometimes I’m lost in a book I picked up (I haven’t read a real, physical book since June). Other times it’s in an episode of Ninjago I’m watching with all five of my kids laying across me on the couch. Still others, it’s in the middle of the night after a long day with a fussy baby who won’t go to sleep.
10. New Me
I’m really enjoying my time off social media. I’m a better person. I’m a more efficient creator. I’m more attuned to the needs of my family, students, and self.
I’m contemplating a total redesign of my online habits.
Now, all I need to do is will it.
by T.J. Burdick | Jun 21, 2018 | Culture, Efficiency, Marriage and Family, Technology, Theology and Philosophy
Over the past 10 years, I’ve spent an enormous amount of time as a student of social media. I’ve studied, experimented, implemented, and ultimately created hundreds of strategies to help extend my evangelical reach to a world in such dire need of God’s saving Word. In doing so, I’ve neglected many of the needs of my community, my family, and my soul.
After a decade of delving deep into the missionary fields of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. I’ve decided to leave social media altogether.
Let me tell you why:
1) None of My Favorite Saints Would Have Used It
I can’t see St. Joseph tweeting. Mary would not have a facebook account. St. Dominic would likely loathe Instagram. Had social media existed during the times of my favorite Saints of old, I highly doubt they would be used at all. Most of God’s best examples of heroic virtue were those who went against the current of the societies they made an impact on. Like St. Benedict and John the Baptist who left the world to become more to it, I’m choosing to leave the digital town square of 3.5+ billion users to better sustain their needs in the spiritual realm.
2) I Don’t Want a Fragmented Mind
If you haven’t read the book Deep Work by Cal Newport or The Shallows by Nicholas Carr, please do so immediately. Our dependency on technology has truly altered our capacity to think, pray, focus, and ultimately live truly happy lives. Granted, there are huge benefits to technology use, but until you read those books, you’ll likely live your life like I did, lost in a torrent of digital distraction.
3) I Want My Work to Be Better
While social media has proven to be an effective means to get my work out to the world, it has also proven to be a huge time consumer. I’ve had to sacrifice time to social media marketing that otherwise could have been used to fine tune my craft, focus on the creative process, and ultimately create better content. So, I’ve decided to do away with social media for the opportunity to become better at what I truly love: writing, video production, teaching courses and working as an international missionary with my family. More on those in future blogposts.
4) I Want to Focus More On Reality
While I’ve enjoyed my brief breaths of digital air that cure my boredom, I’ve decided to opt for boredom. So much good happens when we are bored! When I am in line at the store, doing my business in the bathroom, or waiting for my child’s swimming lesson to finish, I want to allow my mind to recognize the needs of the world around me. It bothers me to no end that, because of social media, I’ve likely missed a life-changing conversation with a stranger in that line, a profound thought in that bathroom, a smile from my kids as they swam in that pool. It is time to get real.
5) I Can Save More Souls Without It
While I am not 100% sure what my return on investment has been for my social media presence, I can safely say that I’ve had more of an effect on the souls of those who I come into real contact with than those with whom I have not. I am also confident that every Hail Mary I’ve prayed has had a million times more of an impact than any status update I’ve made. I’d like to say more Hail Marys; she does a lot more with what little I am than I ever could.
6) I Want to Focus on Relationships
My family is more deserving of my time than anyone else on this planet. Also, I am a sixth grade teacher and those students need my complete attention during the school day. I cannot be God’s hands and feet if my hands and feet are cast about the waves of the digital seas. I need to regain my land legs and journey through the seemingly deserted island that is today’s world and rediscover the people whose lives need me the most.
A Disclaimer
As a disclaimer, I will be keeping my facebook account, but I will be deleting all friends and acquaintances that are not part of my extended family. The reason for this is because much of my family’s goings-on and communication are scheduled through facebook and it would be less efficient if I were to abandon it completely. This just goes to show that social media isn’t a bad thing; it can be used for efficient purposes.
And that is the primary reason why I’ve decided to leave social media: it has become more of a negative form of entertainment than an efficient facet of life. It has done more to harm my soul than strengthen it.
I have a sense that I am not alone in this…
Now What?
My goal is to become a digital minimalist so that I can spend more time lost in contemplation, silence, and advancing God’s kingdom through this blog and my work at the Dominican Institute. From here on out, I plan on being notoriously difficult to get a hold of, but if you really need to contact me, you’ll find a way.
by T.J. Burdick | Mar 19, 2018 | Efficiency, Marriage and Family, Theology and Philosophy
God is pure goodness. The devil, having no creative properties of his own, has only one option- to take the goodness and turn it into evil.
That means that all sin spawns from something good. The soul-darkening things we do always start with a small decision between two good things.
Example: “I have some free time today. I can exercise or read. You know what? I am tired today so I think I will read.”
That situation might seem trivial. It might seem like both are valid options and would not lead to sin. However, when reading becomes the consistent choice time after time, you begin to ignore your physical health and then become guilty of the sin of sloth.
Another example: “I have some work to do, but it can wait until tomorrow. I should be with my family and play with my kids. You know what? I can let them watch TV for a bit while I finish my work. Two birds with one stone. (Thanks TV!)”
This one is a bit more obvious. Granted, work is a good thing; it provides economic stability for your family and personal satisfaction for a job well done. But time with your family is a higher priority, especially when work can wait until tomorrow. Hence, the sin of greed and/or pride consumes us.
Two good things. That’s all the devil needs to convince you that the lower option is the most important. More often than not, we are tempted to do that lower thing because, as St. Thomas Aquinas put it, “[we] desire evil . . . insofar as [we] think it good. Hence [our] intention primarily aims at the good and only incidentally touches on the evil.”*
Thus, “incidentally”, we refuse God’s fresh and natural goodness and settle for the knock-off version through which we fall short of building up the spiritual nourishment we need to thrive.
So, how to de overcome this catch-22? We pull a “St. Francis de Sales”.
St. Francis de Sales had a giant intellect. Strangely enough, his written work was not nearly as prolific as other saints that had similar mental capacities. He published work was not the least bit prolific like Aquinas or even Fulton J. Sheen. The majority of his writing came from letters that he wrote to the people in his diocese, especially lay men and women. He chose to be a pastor more than a writer.
De Sales had two very good things to choose between in his ministry: to write about God or to pastor his people. He chose the latter and, as a result, he was canonized as the Patron of the writers and journalists. He sought wisdom over knowledge and, as a result, was given knowledge and the highest credit for his writing that one could ever receive. He “[sought] first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things [were] added to [him].”- Matthew 6:33
We often have to choose between two good things in our lives. The devil will try to convince you to go for the one that will have the least impact on your salvation and of those you were meant to serve.
To truly know what way to go when confronted with two good things, prioritize your choices with God at the forefront of your decision-making process in prayer. Through unceasing prayer and frequent trips to the adoration chapel, you’ll be given the gift of wisdom. Then, you’ll know which choice to make.
*Thomas’s Commentary on the Nicomachean Ethics. Book I: The Good for Man. Chapter 1, Section 2, under Commentary. # 10 (link)
by T.J. Burdick | Mar 12, 2018 | Marriage and Family, Theology and Philosophy
Billy Graham was a giant in the preaching world, a faithful witness of Christ, and a key player in the lives of America’s religious and political leaders for over 50 years. His ministry touched many, converted millions, and spanned the globe on a scale unmatched by anyone in the protestant world. You would think with all of the success in his apostolate, he’d be one of the, if not THE most satisfied preacher in the world.
And yet, he wasn’t.
He had regrets.
He struggled.
According to his own website:
Although I have much to be grateful for as I look back over my life, I also have many regrets. I have failed many times, and I would do many things differently. For one thing, I would speak less and study more, and I would spend more time with my family.
Here we have not only a professional Preacher, but e legendary one a that, who wished that he would have “spoken less and studied more.” More importantly, that he would have spent more time with his family.
Catholic man or woman in today’s age share in Billy’s struggle. We are constantly attempting to figure out what we should do to satisfy the mission of the Church. Should we teach catechism? Help run the day care? Lead a prayer group? Subscribe to a Bible study? Take a Catholic course? Pursue a religious vocation? Volunteer at the local soup kitchen?
With so many options to advance Christ’s kingdom, we oftentimes turn a blind eye to the real reason God placed us on the earth. Our primary vocations to our marriages, our children, and to our own health, get overlooked because we desire to “do God’s will” through our apostolate.
To that, Mr. Graham continues:
“When I look back over the schedule I kept thirty or forty years ago, I am staggered by all the things we did and the engagements we kept. Sometimes we flitted from one part of the country to another, even from one continent to another, in the course of only a few days. Were all those engagements necessary? Was I as discerning as I might have been about which ones to take and which to turn down? I doubt it. Every day I was absent from my family is gone forever. Although much of that travel was necessary, some of it was not.
I would also spend more time in spiritual nurture, seeking to grow closer to God so I could become more like Christ. I would spend more time in prayer, not just for myself but for others. I would spend more time studying the Bible and meditating on its truth, not only for sermon preparation but to apply its message to my life. It is far too easy for someone in my position to read the Bible only with an eye on a future sermon, overlooking the message God has for me through its pages.
And I would give more attention to fellowship with other Christians, who could teach me and encourage me (and even rebuke me when necessary).”
As we continue to mourn the death of our beloved brother in Christ, may we remember not only his zeal for souls, but, more importantly, his humility in recognizing his limitations. May we not wait until the end our lives to “speak less and study more;” and to “spend more time with [our] families.”
And so, to honor Mr. Graham in his newfound celestial glory, I give him the final words of this post:
“About one thing I have absolutely no regrets, however, and that is my commitment many years ago to accept God’s calling to serve Him as an evangelist of the Gospel of Christ.”
by T.J. Burdick | Feb 19, 2018 | Marriage and Family, Theology and Philosophy
If you are thinking taking up theological studies, take a minute to read this list. Having studied theology “on the side” for over a decade now, I’ve gone through enough heartache and shame to not want you to suffer through what I suffered.
Think of these points as a devil’s advocate in that they will show the various dangers that can occur when one studies theology. Knowing them before you begin your first class can help you fight their temptations and complete your courses without remorse.
When You Spend More Time in Study than in Prayer
St. Thomas Aquinas once said that we must “first contemplate, then share the fruits of our contemplation.” One cannot share what they do not first acquire. Hence, if one desires to share God, they must first come into communion with him through prayer. Too often, studious theologians put the cart before the horse as they pursue God by studying him before actually knowing him. The former is the mark of a logician, the latter is that of a mystic.
When You Sacrifice Your Primary Vocation(s)
St. Paul wrote, “If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith, and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Timothy 5:8). Many lay theologians fall into the temptation of desiring to know God above all things, including their families and their jobs. This is also the case for religious men and women who delve so deep into the science of God that they allow their attention toward community and family to dwindle. Whether you are a religious or a lay man or woman, the fact of the matter is that when you are given responsibilities to love and care for others as your primary vocation, studying theology may hinder your ability to complete that mission that God has already given you.
When You Pursue the Winning of Arguments
In my social media scrolling, I’ve found that Facebook fighting has become a normalized means of “evangelization” in today’s world. Many people have pursued theological proofs only to use them to defeat another person, usually a stranger, in a moral, political, or canonical debate. They care more about wining the argument than wining souls. Such is the way for those who have lost the main reasons why we study theology in the first place- namely, to love.
When You Lose Yourself to Logic
When theologians place their noses into the books of reason, there is a temptation for both nostrils to breath in the heavy burden of logic. It becomes their only air and leaves little possibility of believing in the impossible. Miracles are thought to be exceptions to the Divine rules, angels become figments of our imagination, and devils cease to exist. This is a dangerous path as it keeps the soul barred from the mystery of God, to whom much mystery is due. G. K. Chesterton warns against such a fruitless habit: “Poets do not go mad; but chess-players do. Mathematicians go mad, and cashiers; but creative artists very seldom. I am not, as will be seen, in any sense attacking logic: I only say that this danger does lie in logic, not in imagination.”
When Knowledge Becomes More Important than Wisdom
In our puny efforts of examining God’s ways through knowledge, we lack the true means by which we come to understand him to the capacity that we are able, namely, through wisdom. Any theologian of goodwill can tell you that the more they learn about God, the more they realize that there is to learn. It is a never-ending field of study because the one thing we research and learn about is the one Eternal God whose mind is so far advanced than our own. The temptation par excellence of the devil is to create a theologian whose primary mission in life is to accumulate mere facts about God and thus become truly ignorant.
Should You Study Theology?
Do I recommend that you study theology? Yes, but with an elevated regard to the salvation of those for whom you are pursuing your studies. In the words of St. Philip Neri, “Do whatever you wish; for me it is enough you do not sin.” In other words, if your heart and time are disposed to it for the saving of souls, do it.
However, if the study of God distracts you from doing what God has chosen you to do, disown it.
One thing is for sure, you are more predisposed to knowing God’s will and attaining true wisdom in one hour of adoration than in 100 hours of studying theology. The heart is better tamed to listening to the voice of God when you are in his presence. There, you speak with him in your soul and he responds with divine pedagogy in your life.
On the other hand, when one studies theology, you are predisposed to filter another man’s words (even if it is orthodox work) through your mind before it arrives into your soul. Hence, studying theology becomes a labyrinth of sorts, a maze that can help you come to know God, but it may not be necessary, nor prudent, for most when it comes to loving him or serving him.
Sometimes the easiest thing to do when you are seeking God is to look around where you already are and simply be.
by T.J. Burdick | Feb 14, 2018 | Marriage and Family, Technology
Let’s get off our phones.
Here’s how I plan on doing it:
Get a monitoring app
Limit your time on your phone to 30 minutes per day
- Don’t let anyone see you on your phone during those 30 minutes, especially your children if you are so blessed to have them.
- Eliminate all tempting apps that might cause you to go over your 30 minute limit.
Join my private accountability group
- Take a screen shot of your total minutes each day and post it in my private facebook accountability group.
Will you join me?
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