by T.J. Burdick | Dec 14, 2020 | Efficiency, Life Updates, Marriage and Family, Technology
On Dec. 4th, I took my own advice and started a 21-day social media fast. I know the title of this post seems quite lacking, so much so you are probably thinking “What could you possibly have learned in only 10 days of fasting from something so trivial as social media?”
Actually, a lot.
1. So. Much. Free. Time.
I haven’t completed a social media fast since 2018 when my book Detached came out. In the past two years, but especially during quarantine (and those baby nap 1up moments), I’ve been glued to my phone in a way that led to absolute zero in work/home/creative efficiency. I put out a LOT of content, but man did it suck. Why? Because I sacrificed my contemplation time for what I like to call death scrolling, which is defined as “the mindless act of viewing and/or creating content that has little (if any) positive effect on the soul.”
In 10 days, I’ve eliminated that deluge of spiritual digress and rediscovered pockets of silent, uninterrupted moments of deep connection with myself, creation, and God Himself. As a result, I’ve learned to appreciate this newfound free time that I was so quick to sacrifice to my screens.
2. A Return to Blogging
It’s been a LONG time since I have been mentally able to blog. I found the practice to be a waste of time because, as I thought, “Why write blog posts when I could be spending that time writing something lasting, like a book?”
To a certain degree, I still believe this to be true; books are more important to me than blog posts because they will continue on after I die. This blog will last until my annual payment to my server host runs dry, and then it will disappear.
During this time, however, I realized that a blog does, indeed, have value, a value I hope to discover more perfectly as I become more proficient and writing them.
3. First Movie in Months
I love movies almost as much as my wife does. Here’s the rub, our youngest was born in August and since then, my wife and I haven’t had a lot of time to sit down and watch them. We’d start one, but inevitably either the newborn or one of her four siblings would need us. Or, if we managed to get the kiddos to bed early, we’d find ourselves asleep 20 minutes into whatever we were trying to watch.
What does that have to do with social media? Everything.
If every free moment of your day is filled with social media, you forget to do the little things that can give you bigger time gaps later in the day. For example, instead of picking up the living room or doing a load of laundry, you find yourself on Twitter ignoring those responsibilities until the final moments of your day, moments in which you should be relaxing. So, you stay up later than you wanted to and you no longer have that hour-long block you thought you were going to have because you now have to do the thing you couldn’t while you were death scrolling earlier.
4. Schedule Redesign
After our first child was born a decade ago, I quickly discovered that any projects I had on the docket after returning from the hospital with the new edition would have to be left on said docket. I would give myself an ample 18 months before I started anything new.
Usually, I’d find a way to work anyway. I’d find time in the peripheries of life: during my lunch break, waking up an hour earlier, staying up an extra hour before going to bed, etc.
Now, with even less free time, the social media fast has taught me that even my periphery time is disappearing. Sleep has become more important now than it was 10 years ago and consequently, so has physical health. That meant that I needed to prioritize my time into a new schedule to ensure that I can still do my creative work while doing *motions with arms* everything else.
5. 1K a Day
One of the priorities that surged above everything that wasn’t my family or my job was the need to write one thousand words every day. Writing is my means of making sense of the world. The more creative the writing session, the more clarity I derive from the act.
Social media created an outlet for me to write creatively across several different platforms, but each required that I sacrifice something to appease their algorithms. The restrictions of character count totals, pictures, videos, etc. made 1k/day solely on their timelines unattainable.
Now that it’s just me, my story, and the word document, 1k is easily attained during my 30 minute lunch break.
And that’s all I need to feel satisfied.
6. Became a Plotter
As a writer of fiction, you’re either a pantster (no planning, just writing the story points as they come- by the seat of your pants) or a plotter (so much planning). I wrote my first novel as a pantser and loved every minute of it (yes, even the edits!) One of the primary reasons I pantsed that novel was because I wanted to have enough mental freedom to build social media content as I wrote it. I succeeded, but the duality of thought that I had to accomplish likely made my novel slightly worse than it could have been (but don’t worry, I caught the pitfalls in the edits and rose them up like Christ on Easter Sunday).
Without social media, I began the process of planning my second novel it act by act. I’m finding that plotting has made me an even more efficient and lucid writer, but alas, it does require more time at the forefront, time I would typically be using to build social media content.
Will I last as a plotter once this 21 day social media is finished? I sure hope so. Will my novels be better for it? Ditto.
7. Hugs
Now that my hands aren’t connected in a closed circle with my phone as the lynchpin, I can open my arms wide to the physical affection of my wife and children. Not that I denied them cuddles while I was on social media, there’s just more opportunities to do so without an otherwise occupied mind.
8. Less Stress
I’m going to be perfectly transparent here: I work a full-time job as a public school teacher and a part-time job as a graphic designer/web developer. Look, I get it, given the requirements of the first job alone I should be questioning my sanity for having taken the other one. The thing is I could use the money and I have a soft spot in my heart for my boss of job #2.
That being said, there’s a need for all of us (whether we’re working or not) to fill our free time with something that will revive us, something that gives us energy. Too many people fill that time with social media and they find that it has the opposite effect that they intended. They set out to “relax” or to be “entertained,” by their screens, but in reality, their minds are working in the same capacity as it would when trying to solve an advanced math problem. The result: higher stress levels.
Now that I’m off social media (and gaming), my mind has the freedom to get lost in thought or, if it wants, to shut down completely for a moment. This makes life less stressful and more enjoyable.
9. Spiritual Insights
When I was a kid, I had a poster of a baby deer hanging in my room. Beside the resting fawn, the following words were written: “God speaks to us in the silence of our hearts.” In 1995, I actually had the ability to lay on my bed and stare at the peaceful scene and contemplate the essence of the words in the actual silence of my heart.
In 2020, I can barely remain strewn across my bed for 30 seconds before I feel the need to check my email and notifications.
For ten days, however, I’ve recalled that poster in more than a few of my quiet moments with God. Sometimes I’m lost in a book I picked up (I haven’t read a real, physical book since June). Other times it’s in an episode of Ninjago I’m watching with all five of my kids laying across me on the couch. Still others, it’s in the middle of the night after a long day with a fussy baby who won’t go to sleep.
10. New Me
I’m really enjoying my time off social media. I’m a better person. I’m a more efficient creator. I’m more attuned to the needs of my family, students, and self.
I’m contemplating a total redesign of my online habits.
Now, all I need to do is will it.
by T.J. Burdick | Dec 5, 2020 | Efficiency, Life Updates
As you know, my mission (brand?) since I jumped online has always been to portray and teach the joy and truths of the Catholic faith. By late 2019, I had already achieved the goals I set out to earn when I started my creative work in 2009.
So, I set a new goal: to write my first, full-length novel.
If you’ve never written fiction before, it take a LOT more time and mental strength to write than non-fiction. Non-fiction is linear and research-based which, so long as you know your subject, all you need to do is write from point A to point B all the way until point Z and boom! Your book is done.
Writing fiction, however, requires that you have the entire story in your head regardless of what moment in the story you are writing. Every characters’ story arcs, every plot twist, every example of symbolism, allegory, and cause/effect must be present in your mind All. The. Freaking. Time. Even when you aren’t writing, the ideas keep coming which makes it impossible to focus on much else. It’s like a light switch you can’t turn off… or on.
It was in this mental state that acedia made its move on me. And Avarice wasn’t far behind.
I thought about how I wanted my fiction to appeal to a wider audience. I wanted my stories to be in every school library in the country both public and parochial. I thought about what I knew best (my Catholic faith) and how to keep the religious stuff tucked inside a secular narrative, hidden but ever-present like C.S. Lewis’ The Chronicles of Narnia.
I thought about potential publishers, agents, and my new audience.
Then I thought, how soon before they realize that I’m Catholic?
And then, how soon before they throw my manuscript in the trash as unmarketable in the public sector?
That’s when I started to erase who I’ve always been. I created a new me, one free from the confines of Catholicity.
I tried to re-brand myself.
That’s when the darkness hit. Hard.
First, it was the pandemic that left without a routine, with several children (my students and my own flesh and blood) to teach online, and precious little sleep to cope.
The straw that broke the camel’s back, however, was that my faith was put on pause.
We couldn’t attend Mass or visit the adoration chapel (which is non-existent in my new neighborhood), I felt spiritually sapped. I had nothing to feel connected spiritually:
- No free time to pray (or even think), no sacraments to partake in (save my marriage which, in hindsight, saved me from total spiritual despair)
- No connection to the outside world (save what zoom provided which, as we all know, isn’t much).
- No holy desire. No zeal whatsoever.
I wedged a blade between the religious me and the secular me. I asked the same question every waking moment of the day: Why can’t religious me and public me come together in… me?
For months, I felt like I had my shoes on the wrong feet.
It wasn’t until November that God answered my question in a big way.
I had been pitching my novel for months finding *checks notes* ZERO agents or publishers who were interested in it. I sent many, MANY queries to mostly secular publishers but, I ended up sending it to one Catholic imprint as well. While I waited, I began writing my novel’s prequel and lacklusterly thought that the whole series was useless.
I, also, felt like I was useless.
My wife was having more quality time with our newborn which made me feel inadequate as a father. My other children seemed to be growing further part from me and closer to their homework and new neighborhood friends. My passion to teach was hampered with worries about the pandemic as day after day, more students were disappearing from my classroom due to “close contacts” with people who had tested positive for Covid.
I simply couldn’t write anymore. I was exhausted. I passed through this “Dark Year of the Soul” that had me doubting my religion, my profession, my art– my entire life.
Then, by sheer grace, a publisher requested my full manuscript.
It was the Catholic publisher.
God had answered my question. C.S. Lewis never divided his soul for different audiences; he remained resolute in his Christianity so that different audiences could have a compass to follow. He was the magnetic north that a world deprived of truth looked to in its time of spiritual need.
The light switch inside my soul flipped back on.
I’m Catholic, and 2020 helped me understand that there are no confines in branding myself as such. On the contrary, it is because of my Catholicity that I can reflect more light in a world so in need of it. The audience, be it secular or religious, sees said beams, and follows.
“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.” -C.S. Lewis
by T.J. Burdick | Jul 16, 2018 | Culture, Efficiency, Theology and Philosophy
I had an interesting conversation with my spiritual director last month. He is a word nerd, like me, and I had used the word “called” when referring to a vocation I am discerning. He stopped me in my tracks and said, “Called? Like Augustine who was literally dragged out of his home by the people who called him to be their bishop? Who called you?”
I was silent.
He went on. “I think the word you are looking for is “drawn.” You feel drawn to a certain path of life, not called.”
Are you “called”? Or “drawn”?
He was right. I hadn’t received a “call” from anyone, not even God, at least I think I hadn’t.
I don’t think I’m alone in this. Many people have difficulty understanding the (very subtle) difference between feeling drawn and being called to do God’s work.
When you are drawn, God designs your walk of life to include experiences with someone who needs your talents. Take for example a dating couple. By attraction and sentiment, God has placed one in the pathway of the other to converse, to relate, to acquire a highly intimate relationship in which one soul is drawn to the other through their bonds of love.
As a result, they then call one another to make their love a permanent ministry. When they accept this call, they are united by the One who created them to be one flesh in the Sacrament of holy Matrimony.
To be drawn is an ascent of the will to participate more fully in an act so that your desires might be quenched at its completion. This initial draw sparks from personal interest and is a catalyst toward discerning its place in your story of salvation. It becomes a call when, after having proven yourself to be dedicated to what you were first drawn to, someone (or someones) takes notice and calls on you to do more.
- A man and a woman in a dating relationship call one another to become more as a united one in marriage.
- A young man spends years studying and practicing his pastoral care and theology while in seminary until the Bishop (or the master of a religious order) calls him to become a priest.
- A nursing student takes on hours of extra floor work at the hospital on top of her heavy course load and is later called by her advisor and hospital director to accept her degree.
This is how discernment works. We are drawn to holiness and we pursue it in our own unique ways. In our pursuit, God draws us through our inner silence, constant contemplation, and ongoing development to become more than we think ourselves capable of. It will take years, perhaps even decades to hear his voice, but he will, indeed, make his voice known through those he has placed in power over us. Those who pursue him with a humble soul recognize his voice in the approval of those offering them work in God’s vineyard and they respond to this offer with sincerity of heart.
Very few people in this day in age are actually called by God to do his work without regard to having been drawn to him first.
- St. Paul was called when he was knocked off of his horse on the way to Damascus.
- Moses was called when he met God at the burning bush.
- Peter was called when Jesus told him to leave his fishing boats and follow him.
You are probably not called to do what you think you are being called to do. You are likely drawn to follow a pathway that will lead toward doing this work. In time, those who notice your dedication to excellence in journeying that pathway will call on you to do more.
We are drawn before we care called. This is how we are to “test everything” and “retain what is good” (1 Thes 5:21).
by T.J. Burdick | Jun 21, 2018 | Culture, Efficiency, Marriage and Family, Technology, Theology and Philosophy
Over the past 10 years, I’ve spent an enormous amount of time as a student of social media. I’ve studied, experimented, implemented, and ultimately created hundreds of strategies to help extend my evangelical reach to a world in such dire need of God’s saving Word. In doing so, I’ve neglected many of the needs of my community, my family, and my soul.
After a decade of delving deep into the missionary fields of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. I’ve decided to leave social media altogether.
Let me tell you why:
1) None of My Favorite Saints Would Have Used It
I can’t see St. Joseph tweeting. Mary would not have a facebook account. St. Dominic would likely loathe Instagram. Had social media existed during the times of my favorite Saints of old, I highly doubt they would be used at all. Most of God’s best examples of heroic virtue were those who went against the current of the societies they made an impact on. Like St. Benedict and John the Baptist who left the world to become more to it, I’m choosing to leave the digital town square of 3.5+ billion users to better sustain their needs in the spiritual realm.
2) I Don’t Want a Fragmented Mind
If you haven’t read the book Deep Work by Cal Newport or The Shallows by Nicholas Carr, please do so immediately. Our dependency on technology has truly altered our capacity to think, pray, focus, and ultimately live truly happy lives. Granted, there are huge benefits to technology use, but until you read those books, you’ll likely live your life like I did, lost in a torrent of digital distraction.
3) I Want My Work to Be Better
While social media has proven to be an effective means to get my work out to the world, it has also proven to be a huge time consumer. I’ve had to sacrifice time to social media marketing that otherwise could have been used to fine tune my craft, focus on the creative process, and ultimately create better content. So, I’ve decided to do away with social media for the opportunity to become better at what I truly love: writing, video production, teaching courses and working as an international missionary with my family. More on those in future blogposts.
4) I Want to Focus More On Reality
While I’ve enjoyed my brief breaths of digital air that cure my boredom, I’ve decided to opt for boredom. So much good happens when we are bored! When I am in line at the store, doing my business in the bathroom, or waiting for my child’s swimming lesson to finish, I want to allow my mind to recognize the needs of the world around me. It bothers me to no end that, because of social media, I’ve likely missed a life-changing conversation with a stranger in that line, a profound thought in that bathroom, a smile from my kids as they swam in that pool. It is time to get real.
5) I Can Save More Souls Without It
While I am not 100% sure what my return on investment has been for my social media presence, I can safely say that I’ve had more of an effect on the souls of those who I come into real contact with than those with whom I have not. I am also confident that every Hail Mary I’ve prayed has had a million times more of an impact than any status update I’ve made. I’d like to say more Hail Marys; she does a lot more with what little I am than I ever could.
6) I Want to Focus on Relationships
My family is more deserving of my time than anyone else on this planet. Also, I am a sixth grade teacher and those students need my complete attention during the school day. I cannot be God’s hands and feet if my hands and feet are cast about the waves of the digital seas. I need to regain my land legs and journey through the seemingly deserted island that is today’s world and rediscover the people whose lives need me the most.
A Disclaimer
As a disclaimer, I will be keeping my facebook account, but I will be deleting all friends and acquaintances that are not part of my extended family. The reason for this is because much of my family’s goings-on and communication are scheduled through facebook and it would be less efficient if I were to abandon it completely. This just goes to show that social media isn’t a bad thing; it can be used for efficient purposes.
And that is the primary reason why I’ve decided to leave social media: it has become more of a negative form of entertainment than an efficient facet of life. It has done more to harm my soul than strengthen it.
I have a sense that I am not alone in this…
Now What?
My goal is to become a digital minimalist so that I can spend more time lost in contemplation, silence, and advancing God’s kingdom through this blog and my work at the Dominican Institute. From here on out, I plan on being notoriously difficult to get a hold of, but if you really need to contact me, you’ll find a way.
by T.J. Burdick | Mar 19, 2018 | Efficiency, Marriage and Family, Theology and Philosophy
God is pure goodness. The devil, having no creative properties of his own, has only one option- to take the goodness and turn it into evil.
That means that all sin spawns from something good. The soul-darkening things we do always start with a small decision between two good things.
Example: “I have some free time today. I can exercise or read. You know what? I am tired today so I think I will read.”
That situation might seem trivial. It might seem like both are valid options and would not lead to sin. However, when reading becomes the consistent choice time after time, you begin to ignore your physical health and then become guilty of the sin of sloth.
Another example: “I have some work to do, but it can wait until tomorrow. I should be with my family and play with my kids. You know what? I can let them watch TV for a bit while I finish my work. Two birds with one stone. (Thanks TV!)”
This one is a bit more obvious. Granted, work is a good thing; it provides economic stability for your family and personal satisfaction for a job well done. But time with your family is a higher priority, especially when work can wait until tomorrow. Hence, the sin of greed and/or pride consumes us.
Two good things. That’s all the devil needs to convince you that the lower option is the most important. More often than not, we are tempted to do that lower thing because, as St. Thomas Aquinas put it, “[we] desire evil . . . insofar as [we] think it good. Hence [our] intention primarily aims at the good and only incidentally touches on the evil.”*
Thus, “incidentally”, we refuse God’s fresh and natural goodness and settle for the knock-off version through which we fall short of building up the spiritual nourishment we need to thrive.
So, how to de overcome this catch-22? We pull a “St. Francis de Sales”.
St. Francis de Sales had a giant intellect. Strangely enough, his written work was not nearly as prolific as other saints that had similar mental capacities. He published work was not the least bit prolific like Aquinas or even Fulton J. Sheen. The majority of his writing came from letters that he wrote to the people in his diocese, especially lay men and women. He chose to be a pastor more than a writer.
De Sales had two very good things to choose between in his ministry: to write about God or to pastor his people. He chose the latter and, as a result, he was canonized as the Patron of the writers and journalists. He sought wisdom over knowledge and, as a result, was given knowledge and the highest credit for his writing that one could ever receive. He “[sought] first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things [were] added to [him].”- Matthew 6:33
We often have to choose between two good things in our lives. The devil will try to convince you to go for the one that will have the least impact on your salvation and of those you were meant to serve.
To truly know what way to go when confronted with two good things, prioritize your choices with God at the forefront of your decision-making process in prayer. Through unceasing prayer and frequent trips to the adoration chapel, you’ll be given the gift of wisdom. Then, you’ll know which choice to make.
*Thomas’s Commentary on the Nicomachean Ethics. Book I: The Good for Man. Chapter 1, Section 2, under Commentary. # 10 (link)
by T.J. Burdick | Feb 9, 2018 | Efficiency, Technology
It is time to let the cat out of the bag.
I’m writing a book. And not just any book, an amazingly helpful book.
I can’t divulge many details just yet, but once I get the OK from my publisher, I’ll let you all know more.
What I can tell you is that, essentially, I am writing The Purpose Driven Life for today’s world. Back in 2002 when Pastor Rick Warren published The Purpose Driven Life, it sold 60 million copies and continues to be THE book when it comes to spiritual realization from a Christian worldview.
Since 2002, a lot has changed. One of the most significant of those changes is the development of smartphones and how they have managed to enslave us to ourselves. There are currently 2.4 billion smartphone users around the world and each and every one of them has questioned at some point:
Is my phone healthy for me? Or am I better off without it?
My book is going to answer those questions. It aims to guide the reader toward a deeper understanding of their mission in life and their phone’s place in their story of salvation.
I had such a great time reading about how technology affects us physically, mentally, and spiritually that I wanted to share with you some of the books I read while writing my own.
While you wait for my book to launch, why not take a look at some of the titles that helped mold it?
The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth am I Here For? (Zondervan, 2002) by Rick Warren is undoubtedly the greatest self-help book to ever be written at 60 million copies sold to date. This shows that people have a hunger to regain their focus and understand their purpose through Christianity. Since its publication, however, new technological distractions such as cell phones, social media, and a myriad of streaming video platforms (just to name a few) have blurred our sense of purpose. My book takes this focus and juxtaposes it to call readers toward living a happy life by sacrificing their screens in order to realize not only their purpose, but how technology should fit into their lives instead of pulling them away from their God-given mission.
The Shallows: What the Internet is Doing to Our Souls (W. W. Norton & Company 2011) by Nicholas Carr was a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize. The book provides the best scientific and biological assessment of how technology, specifically the Internet, has changed the ways our minds work for the worse. It analyzes current research and historical proofs of how the human mind has evolved when advances in technology occur and the fundamental thesis claims that or current state is one of distraction, addiction, and loneliness. My book builds upon Carr’s research and provides up-to-date scientific research to aid the reader in understanding advantages and disadvantages of technology when it comes to their mind, body, and soul.
Hamlet’s Blackberry: Building a Good Life in the Digital Age (Harper Perennial, 2011) by William Powers is another New York Times best seller. It is an autobiographical/ historical piece that puts Powers’ own smartphone addiction at the forefront of his writing career. He analyzes what happened to him in order to connect with the wider audience that shares his addictive inclinations. Then, he provides examples of historical parallels, figures in history whose advances in technology altered the way humanity strove for excellence. My book is similar in that it speaks to a very wide audience in easy-to-understand language, but it differs in that it provides a more precise philosophical and theological approach to dealing with devices. In short, it speaks more to the soul than to a lifestyle, which is the primary focus of Powers’ book.
Living Forward: A Proven Plan to Stop Drifting and Get the Life You Want (Baker Books, 2016) by Michel Hyatt and Daniel Harkavy is a at the top of the Amazon best selling books in the category of “Work Life Balance.” It doesn’t deal too much with technology, but it does highlight the basic tenets of living a good life and how to achieve the life you desire by intentionally planning it. As part of my book deals with life-planning, I wanted to place this book as a competitor because it parallels some of the points I make. What their book lacks, however, is the inclusion of the Christian’s mission of building God’s Kingdom as part of one’s life plan.
The War of Art (Black Irish Entertainment, LLC, 2012) by Steven Pressfield is a cult-classic for creatives. It is short, readable, and it speaks to the creative spirit within all of humanity. It establishes that the root of our lack of progress as people is Resistance and analyzes it from a myriad of personal, communal, and philosophical angles. Pressfield then shows us how to overcome Resistance. My book is different in that it joins the human’s will with the power of God to help overcome technological, as well as the spiritual, forms of Resistance in order to live lives of virtue, which result in true joy.
Off Balance: Getting Beyond the Work-Life Balance Myth to Personal and Professional Satisfaction (Avery, 2011) by Matthew Kelly is another top-of-the-list book for the category of “Work life Balance” on Amazon.com. Kelly is the CEO of three Fortune 500 companies and he also runs a successful religious ministry. I saw him speak once and purchased a few of his books and found that he has a similar mission in life, namely to help people live the joy of the Gospel in every aspect of their lives. This book give great advice on how to do that. Interestingly enough, given Kelly is a religious man, this book is written in a secular voice. My book takes his advice and unites it with Catholic ideals.
Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity (Penguin Books, 2015 revised) by David Allen is the #1 best seller in the category of Personal Time Management. For some it is labeled “The Bible” of personal productivity. My book, however, actually uses the actual Bible for personal productivity. While Allen’s book is by far the most successful when it comes to managing one’s life, my book takes a step further by managing one’s soul.
Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracting World (Grand Central Publishing, 2016) by Cal Newport is a New York Times best-seller that teaches the reader how to focus. It is the quintessential book for everyone who finds themselves distracted at or by work, diversion, technology, or any other stimuli. For a secular book, it actually does a decent job of educating the reader with good, philosophical undertones. However, it misses the mark on many spiritual points, especially concerning the human will as “destructible”. My book takes a more orthodox approach providing the reader with the richness and fullness of the Catholic philosophical tradition (especially Thomism).
Those are just a few of the books that went in to creating my own. I wanted to highlight these because they made a tremendous impact on my life and I wanted them to do the same for you.
What about you, what books have you read in the last year that were life-changing?
Please share in the comments below.
