How to Know if Your Are “Called” by God

How to Know if Your Are “Called” by God

I had an interesting conversation with my spiritual director last month. He is a word nerd, like me, and I had used the word “called” when referring to a vocation I am discerning. He stopped me in my tracks and said, “Called? Like Augustine who was literally dragged out of his home by the people who called him to be their bishop? Who called you?”

I was silent.

He went on. “I think the word you are looking for is “drawn.” You feel drawn to a certain path of life, not called.”

Are you “called”? Or “drawn”?

He was right. I hadn’t received a “call” from anyone, not even God, at least I think I hadn’t.

I don’t think I’m alone in this. Many people have difficulty understanding the (very subtle) difference between feeling drawn and being called to do God’s work.

When you are drawn, God designs your walk of life to include experiences with someone who needs your talents. Take for example a dating couple. By attraction and sentiment, God has placed one in the pathway of the other to converse, to relate, to acquire a highly intimate relationship in which one soul is drawn to the other through their bonds of love.

As a result, they then call one another to make their love a permanent ministry. When they accept this call, they are united by the One who created them to be one flesh in the Sacrament of holy Matrimony.

To be drawn is an ascent of the will to participate more fully in an act so that your desires might be quenched at its completion. This initial draw sparks from personal interest and is a catalyst toward discerning its place in your story of salvation. It becomes a call when, after having proven yourself to be dedicated to what you were first drawn to, someone (or someones) takes notice and calls on you to do more.

  • A man and a woman in a dating relationship call one another to become more as a united one in marriage.
  • A young man spends years studying and practicing his pastoral care and theology while in seminary until the Bishop (or the master of a religious order) calls him to become a priest.
  • A nursing student takes on hours of extra floor work at the hospital on top of her heavy course load and is later called by her advisor and hospital director to accept her degree.

This is how discernment works. We are drawn to holiness and we pursue it in our own unique ways. In our pursuit, God draws us through our inner silence, constant contemplation, and ongoing development to become more than we think ourselves capable of. It will take years, perhaps even decades to hear his voice, but he will, indeed, make his voice known through those he has placed in power over us. Those who pursue him with a humble soul recognize his voice in the approval of those offering them work in God’s vineyard and they respond to this offer with sincerity of heart.

Very few people in this day in age are actually called by God to do his work without regard to having been drawn to him first.

  • St. Paul was called when he was knocked off of his horse on the way to Damascus.
  • Moses was called when he met God at the burning bush.
  • Peter was called when Jesus told him to leave his fishing boats and follow him.

You are probably not called to do what you think you are being called to do. You are likely drawn to follow a pathway that will lead toward doing this work. In time, those who notice your dedication to excellence in journeying that pathway will call on you to do more.

We are drawn before we care called. This is how we are to “test everything” and “retain what is good” (1 Thes 5:21).

Why I Am Leaving All Social Media

Why I Am Leaving All Social Media

Over the past 10 years, I’ve spent an enormous amount of time as a student of social media. I’ve studied, experimented, implemented, and ultimately created hundreds of strategies to help extend my evangelical reach to a world in such dire need of God’s saving Word. In doing so, I’ve neglected many of the needs of my community, my family, and my soul.

After a decade of delving deep into the missionary fields of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. I’ve decided to leave social media altogether.

Let me tell you why:

1) None of My Favorite Saints Would Have Used It

I can’t see St. Joseph tweeting. Mary would not have a facebook account. St. Dominic would likely loathe Instagram. Had social media existed during the times of my favorite Saints of old, I highly doubt they would be used at all. Most of God’s best examples of heroic virtue were those who went against the current of the societies they made an impact on. Like St. Benedict and John the Baptist who left the world to become more to it, I’m choosing to leave the digital town square of 3.5+ billion users to better sustain their needs in the spiritual realm.

2) I Don’t Want a Fragmented Mind

If you haven’t read the book Deep Work by Cal Newport or The Shallows by Nicholas Carr, please do so immediately. Our dependency on technology has truly altered our capacity to think, pray, focus, and ultimately live truly happy lives. Granted, there are huge benefits to technology use, but until you read those books, you’ll likely live your life like I did, lost in a torrent of digital distraction.

3) I Want My Work to Be Better

While social media has proven to be an effective means to get my work out to the world, it has also proven to be a huge time consumer. I’ve had to sacrifice time to social media marketing that otherwise could have been used to fine tune my craft, focus on the creative process, and ultimately create better content. So, I’ve decided to do away with social media for the opportunity to become better at what I truly love: writing, video production, teaching courses and working as an international missionary with my family. More on those in future blogposts.

4) I Want to Focus More On Reality

While I’ve enjoyed my brief breaths of digital air that cure my boredom, I’ve decided to opt for boredom. So much good happens when we are bored! When I am in line at the store, doing my business in the bathroom, or waiting for my child’s swimming lesson to finish, I want to allow my mind to recognize the needs of the world around me. It bothers me to no end that, because of social media, I’ve likely missed a life-changing conversation with a stranger in that line, a profound thought in that bathroom, a smile from my kids as they swam in that pool. It is time to get real.

5) I Can Save More Souls Without It

While I am not 100% sure what my return on investment has been for my social media presence, I can safely say that I’ve had more of an effect on the souls of those who I come into real contact with than those with whom I have not. I am also confident that every Hail Mary I’ve prayed has had a million times more of an impact than any status update I’ve made. I’d like to say more Hail Marys; she does a lot more with what little I am than I ever could.

6) I Want to Focus on Relationships

My family is more deserving of my time than anyone else on this planet. Also, I am a sixth grade teacher and those students need my complete attention during the school day. I cannot be God’s hands and feet if my hands and feet are cast about the waves of the digital seas. I need to regain my land legs and journey through the seemingly deserted island that is today’s world and rediscover the people whose lives need me the most.

A Disclaimer

As a disclaimer, I will be keeping my facebook account, but I will be deleting all friends and acquaintances that are not part of my extended family. The reason for this is because much of my family’s goings-on and communication are scheduled through facebook and it would be less efficient if I were to abandon it completely. This just goes to show that social media isn’t a bad thing; it can be used for efficient purposes.

And that is the primary reason why I’ve decided to leave social media: it has become more of a negative form of entertainment than an efficient facet of life. It has done more to harm my soul than strengthen it.

I have a sense that I am not alone in this…

Now What?

My goal is to become a digital minimalist so that I can spend more time lost in contemplation, silence, and advancing God’s kingdom through this blog and my work at the Dominican Institute. From here on out, I plan on being notoriously difficult to get a hold of, but if you really need to contact me, you’ll find a way.

Avengers: Infinity War, the Movie We All Deserve

Avengers: Infinity War, the Movie We All Deserve

Let’s face it, the world today is filled with negativity. Darkness abounds in a world filled with lit screens. Life is submerged into the ocean of nihilistic philosophies whose trimmings and trappings bear many titles- materialism, relativism, consequentialism, etc. It is in this nighttime of discontent that super heroes fall from the sky, onto the silver screen, and revive the very fabric of our being.

We love super hero movies. The box office earnings prove that.

The latest Marvel installment, Avengers: Infinity War, earned more than $630 million in its first weekend. More importantly, it raised many eyebrows, including my own, and for good reason; IW did something that no other super hero move has done in recent history- it showed us who we are as a society.

In recent history, super hero movies have followed the same plot line: Superhero gets powers. Evil villain arises. Superhero defends people from super villain. Super hero defeats villain. End of story. This plot line ensures that our thirst for good to defeat evil will be satiated and all will be well with the universe.

Infinity War did not do that. At. All.

Rather, IW brought a mirror to theater and placed it smack dab in the face of the fallen, human audience who watched it. What we saw was something amazing on the surface, but when we looked deeper, we found the broken nature of our imperfections. Allow me to demonstrate:

Evil Wins Regardless of Our Combined Efforts

The villain won. It didn’t matter that the Avengers were already divided, when they were fighting on different planets, they fought together without even knowing it. As a result, they “joined forces” to establish the best onslaught possible against the god-man, Thanos, who, even when beaten by the good “god-man, Thor, was still able to win.

Isn’t this similar to our own spiritual lives? We know that our hearts call us to become better versions of ourselves, to constantly seek out perfection, beauty, goodness, and truth so that we can live our lives to the fullest. And yet, we fall so often. We are prideful, selfish, impatient, and crass. No matter how hard the hero inside us fights for control over our souls, we let the villain within us win.

Positive Motives Do Not Always Equal Prosperity

With the snap of his fingers, Thanos was able to eliminate half of the universes’ population. In his eyes, he was doing the world a merciful service by ensuring that each planet would have enough food to fill their bellies and resources to sustain their survival. But, is that really what life demands in order to be happy?

We too find our own evil desires to come in the form of positive motives. We think that if we satisfy our sinful desires, we will be happy. But, do the ends justify the means? Perhaps for a short time, but ultimately, the satisfaction wears away into guilt and shame because we realize that our actions were set firm in a solid moral theology. We become our own gods when we refuse to recognize the one true God whose moral precepts far outshine our own.

Sin Disintegrates the Soul

The effects of Thanos’ individual power are shown when half of the universe disintegrates into ash and then, nothingness. Normal people, superheroes, villains, even other life forms all become like air into which the nostrils of those who remain breathe in and out of their mouths. Like a faint echo, they are mourned in memory unable even to be buried into the ground from which their essence came.

When we fall into the temptations of our own sinful desires, the consequences that follow are life-sucking. We become less human and more like nothingness because we are slowly being separated from the Giver of life- God. Disconnected from his power, we are nothing, and sin is the dividing wedge that wanes our existence.

That Which We Love Most is Not What We Should Most Love

I’ll admit I was in utter disbelief when Spiderman, Dr. Strange, and Black Panther began to fade into dust. Here, some of the top money makers in Marvel’s cinematic collection were, well… gone. It was hard to fathom how it was possible to kill off these characters. How could Marvel sustain their economic stability without them? Much worse, on a personal level, why would they do it?! They were my favorites!

But it just goes to show you that what we really love in life isn’t always what we should love. There are many things in our lives that take the place of the real, life-giving experiences we long for. The football game trumps time with our families. The phone overcomes our desire to exercise. The late-night Netflix binge cuts into our necessary sleep hours and hurts our efficiency the next day at work. I could go on… The bottom line is that our priorities are not as they ought to be, and as such, our lives do not become what they should be.

The Director is Plotting the Sequel

We all stayed for the final credits. We had to. There was simply no way we were just going to let the ending of Infinity War be that final moment of “Are you serious!?”

Why? Because we are a people of intense hope. We know we are sinners. We know our lives are not being lived to their greatest degree. We know that we are not the best version of ourselves which is EXACTLY why we love watching the same super hero movie plot over and over again.

And when Nick Fury’s device flashed Captain Marvel’s symbol amidst the red and blue backdrop, that hope was ignited again.

We are in what seems to be an infinity war within ourselves. Within the constant barrage of attacks to our spirit, God loves us regardless of our faults and strengthens our will to overtake the enemy. This earthly life is just the beginning of a redemptive story. In the end, the seeds we sow in virtue during this life will be reaped in then next.

The sequel of our current misery and tribulation is the grande finale in our story of salvation- heaven, where infinite peace reigns forever. Just as Thanos will eventually be defeated in the next Avengers movie, so too will our souls be redeemed when we enter into the beatific vision.

Get your tickets in advance.